It's been 10 days since my surgery and I've been a lot more mobile. Being able to sit back and ride the journey has been a self-discipline practice. Truly, what makes it easier this time around is that I've let go of daily showers, body image stuff, control, pride, comfort and am surfing this wave from my couch in honor - honoring lack of mobility, body image and help from others. Why? I can't take daily showers or wash my hair. History shows that when you sit and eat and don't move, your body will changes its appearance. Facing the facts in this state, I will never have control and therefore need to swallow my pride and accept the help. It takes patience and knowing that this is only temporary.
Letting go has been the theme of this year in my transformation and so it seems to have come a bit easier this time around. It it is crazy seeing my transformation over the years through surgical experiences. Just my last surgery I was crying and hyperventilating as I was being wheeled in to the OR. This time of course I was scared shitless, but I was a lot more at peace. Rather, I was more observing it from a peaceful place.
Also, the biggest key assistant in getting through this journey is visitors. Man oh man, not a day has gone by where I didn't have visitors. Connection. It keeps you alive.
Physically, the doctor said two more weeks with this brace and the crutches. The brace is tough cause it wraps around my leg and has finally nagged it enough to the point of complete tenderness. I can't touch my thigh without it feeling like it will bruise. Physical therapy starts in just under two weeks. I get to sleep without being tied up and I can get in and out of the couch by a little trick the doctor showed me of how to lift my right leg by crossing my left leg under it and picking it up that way. That was pretty cool! I feel a lot more independent now. Going up and down the stairs for the doctor appt was a lot easier than expected. In two weeks we have another appointment to plan out my shoulder! ✅